So, I had this friend in high school, Renee. We became really close our senior year...but she had a boyfriend and their relationship was kind of restraining. I'm not one to wait for tomorrow to be happy, if that happiness is available and capable today, then go for it. I encouraged her to do what she liked, and if there was something she wanted, then get it. He didn't like that. He was busy trying to map out their future, and she didn't have the greatest home life, so being able to leave this life behind at graduation was the goal...meaning money wasn't something to be flippant with. I suppose I can see why he thought I was superficial...but I wasn't, I just want people I care about to be happy, no matter the cost. I hardly ever think in terms of dollars and cents...when you get one life, why waste it saving for possibilities...dream life, live life. Not to say I don't save, I actually do...hell, I've got 401k...which doesn't say much with where the economy is right now...but my future is being insured.
This wasn't my intention, to go off on all this. Back to Renee, she and I ended up growing apart at the end of our senior year, I assume due partly to her boyfriend...like not talking as much...then not at all...then the silence grew into tension and then to hate. I think I wrote her a letter, apologizing for whatever had ruined us, even though I wasn't really sure what it was, and she responded (to a mutual friend, not to me) that she wasn't ready to forgive me yet. I didn't realize I had been waiting on forgiveness...or that I had done something that had required forgiveness. Graduation day came, she and I still weren't talking. After graduation, everyone's a little emotional, throwing hugs everywhere...and I recall us hugging, and I think I told her I was proud of her (she graduated with honors), and if I didn't say it, I was thinking it. That was the end. I tried to call her when she was away at college, but I never heard back. I was definitely sad about the whole thing, she was my first real close friend.
She found me on facebook the other day...I had found her months before that, but I wasn't going to try and rebuild a bridge that wasn't my call to burn in the first place. We're talking...it seems to be going well. She has since married that boyfriend and is working on her PhD. I'm very curious to see how this turns out.
