Failing...

Being a parent is hard.

I can handle the sleepless nights...the putting someone else's needs before my own...exhausting hours of hide-n-seek or chase-me-around or light-switch-flipping or whatever the new trick is that's beyond fascinating to their growing little minds. All of that, I can do...but the discipline...that's where I raise my white flag and say uncle.

Drew and I never really discussed what form of discipline we'd use with our kids. I'm pretty sure he thought he could just raise his voice, (because his father had a booming voice, and he and his brother knew that meant business if it got to that point,) and that would do the trick. You might scoff at his green assumption...but you might want to wait until you hear my idea. I thought I would reason with the children...you know, use logic and sensibility...all the things a little child is bound to understand. I would say, "Don't push your brother over, because that's not nice," and then my three year old son would say, "You're right mom, that wasn't nice; and I won't do it again because there is absolutely no reason for me to act out like that." Umm, duh. Seems simple enough to me. Alas, anyone with young children can tell you, it simply can't go down that way. There must be a meltdown, there must be tears, there must be yelling, and there must be LOTS of crying, with lots of snot being wiped on everything within arms reach...and there will be zero understanding.

Every child's different...but somehow all the other children seem slightly more advanced than mine. I feel like I try so hard to gain ground, but there's always a force pushing me back...sometimes dad, sometimes grandma, sometimes it's my own damn self.

Here's my failure list:

-Timmy is 3 years old and still gets a bottle. This is something I have been fighting, and two nights ago, Drew and I both agree'd no more milk bottle before bed. So as of right now, he gets a water bottle in the middle of the night when he crawls into bed with us...simply because I can't handle the dead of the night wailing. (okay, I wrote this blog a few weeks ago ((I think, been busy)) and have since managed to completely rid my home of bottles!! I will take that teeny, itty bitty victory with my head held high!)

-Timmy's sleeps with us. Every. Night. Just gets up from his bed and comes into our room.

-Timmy's uses a diaper...and when asked if he needs to use the potty, he repeatedly says "NO." But is more than happy to tell us when he needs a diaper change. I'm going to try to hit this nail on the head next week. Cloth diapering was my attempt to get him to notice being wet...but turns out that cloth diapers are quite good at whisking away wetness. (And a few weeks down the road, that nail is still sticking out like a sore thumb...whatever.)

Drew thinks Timmy's slow...I think we've been too lenient and have kind of caused this slow grade of learning. He excels at so many things...but I think I've fallen short at teaching him skills he should have learned by now (like feeding him, instead of allowing him to feed himself...we cripple his abilities and our own freedom...and Drew's currently trying to fall down this well with Levi, which I am not letting happen!). There's many different explanations for his learning style, but he's come SO far in the past few months, I really don't think anything's wrong with him.

Holiday Rush

I'm so tired today. Levi's been teething and we've finally weaned Timmy from the bottle...so nights are a little sketchy. 

Holiday stress is hovering over me and I feel like I can't catch up! Who's bright idea was it to make DIY gifts for everyone?! Oh, that's right, mine. I've been making Menu boards, I Love You Because boards, a hat rack, and need to start on some photo transfers. Of course it doesn't help that I broke my computer and lost a great deal of my recent photos and most of my music, and had to pay nearly two hundred dollars just to have a blank computer back. Thank god my brother's a geek and had it all backed up since until March! And also that I'm such a picture whore and upload most of my favorites to Facebook...otherwise I'd be out all the pictures I've taken from March until now! What's frustrating still, is that although I still have all my wedding pictures on a DVD, the edits that took me weeks to do...gone. So much for ordering wedding prints anytime soon. Eh, what's done is done, and thankfully most of it was saved...and the music can be replaced.

Here's a happy note! Drew mounted our headboard! Love love love it!! Now I just need to order some new bedding and pillows...and figure out what to decorate the wall above the bed with...and curtains...and, is that it?...yeah, that's it!! :)

The boys are growing like crazy! Timmy's come a long way, and almost always communicates with us...granted we still have our meltdowns, just because he clearly tells us he wants a lollipop, doesn't mean a lollipop is going to happen. Levi is walking/running all through the house! I don't know why, but it's blowing my mind how much he understands and how he's learning. I'm not sure if Timmy was the same pace or not...maybe it's just cuz I expect Levi to be and stay my baby forever. :)