More Than Acquaintances

I'm so sick and tired of this whole 'friendship' nonsense. I think it's near impossible for me to manage an honest friendship or comrade. I'm in my mid-twenties, and the whole orchestration of it all is truly mind-boggling to me.

I suppose a lot of the problem is that my life seems to revolve around work...in which case, every bit of drama that's at all possible is almost assured to happen...and then speedily networks its way around to everyone...so every friend I try to make there already has a predisposed notion of who I am, and sometimes, I almost think they have a hidden agenda...like, 'Lets get the real dirt straight from the horse's mouth,' kind of agenda.

I want to be able to trust people and consider them to be genuine in the person they parade themselves to be...and I'd even go so far as to say, I'm too trusting. But I've gotten stabbed in the back so many times by people I held dear to me, that I pretty much need re-constructive surgery to ever be normal again. It hurts. To know that people, who you at one time would do anything for, can so easily dismiss you and even turn against you...and then take the precious time to turn all of their people against you by spreading fabricated propaganda to their tiny little minds to twist your image every which way.

I suppose this might be a little harsh...maybe even unfair...but I doubt it. I mean, statistically speaking, it's 5 to 2, the odds being in favor of the friends-to-foe. And those five are strictly the bottom of the barrel crap friends, versus the two wonderful friends (not counting family, naturally) who've proven to have my back at the darkest of times...if I were to add in the people who chose to float somewhere in between, the numbers would be painful...so I won't clutter the numbers with the 'kinda-sorta-in-betweeners.'

I don't know...I guess I'm just tired of searching for something, that in all honesty, seems as though it should be so simple. Where are all of the people who consider honesty a necessity...who are true...who clearly see the lines of right and wrong...who pride themselves in the ability to look into the mirror and respect the person looking back...where are you all??

Grinding Gears: Grammer

I really hate it when people over enunciate the 'g' at the end of a word, for instance, the word long..."lonGAH," or going..."goinGAH." Now, I'm sure it doesn't bode well for me to name names, but Whitney off of The Hills does it, Marie' Digby (a sinGAHer for those of you who don't know) does it...and I'm just wondering who the hell taught these kids how to speak? The same goes for Washington...or simply wash...there's no 'r'...and yet, I always encounter people with that speech impediment...and I just want to ask them if they're aware, even slightly, of the exact spelling of the word. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me, and it gets under my skin and churns around, until I think I might actually explode from annoyance. People always say there's no 'I' in team...to which should be the reply, 'It really depends on the person and their mental capacity.' And just for the record, 'conversate' is not a word...so thank you Eminem for stunting the already crippled minds of the American youth. Don't get me wrong, I love him as an artist...but damn it! The majority of people should already be wearing safety helmets...it's like handing children paste on a spoon..."Eat up kids!"

First Official Blog...

Well, I'm not quite sure where to go with this...I blog all the time on Myspace, but this has a much more official feeling about it. My name's Amanda. I grew up in a little area in Washington, graduated from Cheney High in 2001 and have since been working my way through college...slowly, unfortunately. I have this overwhelming need to not be in debt because of school...so I'm paying as I go. And I can't say I had very many goals when I graduated from high school, so considering I'm still developing those, I don't have a certain career path planned out...just a sea of endless possibilities. I'm going to have my Associates Degree from the Falls in the fall of 08, then I think I'll hold off on further schooling for another year, just to see where my head's at and to save up some money. I've been toying with the idea of Computer Graphics and Design. Being told that the Falls has one of the most elite programs and after learning more about the course, it sounds like a really interesting endeavor.

Right now, I'm working as a cocktail waitress at NQ Casino. It's not a career for me, in fact it's a nightmarish thought just considering it to be. However, I will give it the proper accolades, I was a very shy person before becoming a waitress. After five years of waiting tables at the local Denny's, I've become a pro at interrupting people (ha) and making polite chit-chat...and best of all, my bantering skills are off the chain (or whatever the popular terminology is for the moment). Like I said, it's no career...but it's been a good stepping stone for me as a person. And for the time being, it pays bills and it's helping me through school...so for that I'm grateful.

I bought a house in October '07, and it's been quite the adventure for me. For anyone who knows me, I've had quite the turbulent time moving from apartment to apartment and jumping from roommate to roommate, so to have a place to call my own is so serene. Although I did all of the purchasing and paperwork of this house on my own, I share the home with my boyfriend Drew. He's actually turned out to be the most tidy roommate thus far, which I find rather shocking considering my previous roommates were girls...or pretend girls...with the exception of my brother, who was also very clean in an obsessive compulsive kind of manner. Well, that's all I care to share at the moment...