My How The Turn Tables Have…

May 1, 2023 It’s been a few minutes. I guess so much has happened, it feels impossible to catch up and I kind of don’t want to relive the majority of it to get from where we last left off to the lovely present day. We’ll do the Sparks Note version. Went back to work, got tossed around a lot and put on 5am-1pm shifts. After a whole lot of tears and frustration, I was able to get back into my venue, Turf Club, on swing shift. Been through the wringer and through multiple layers of management. Currently, I get to work with Charstie on swing shift and she’s seriously the best person to work with (kind, considerate, level headed, mild mannered, and super efficient), so I consider myself super lucky. All the same, I’m an extreme introvert in an extroverts job, so I get emotionally exhausted and it’s not easy, feeling like they’re going to fire you for whatever mistake they can find that you make. It’s just a toxic work environment…which is a shame.

Just gonna get this out of the way, Drew and I hit some pretty serious rocks in 2020, that lasted to the end of 2021. He lost a lot of weight and liked the attention from other girls. He was drinking a lot and making poor decisions, one of which was not making me a priority…and instead putting energy into making those other girls feel special. It was a betrayal I never anticipated and honestly didn’t know how to handle. Suddenly feeling like a stranger in your own life, like your whole reality never even was…talk about hitting rock bottom. He became sober and over the course of 2021 started reaffirming himself to me and making us his main priority. It sucks that that is part of our story, but I feel we came out of the other side stronger and better than before. We have reached a beautifully peaceful plateau, where we enjoy spending our time together and are completely open and honest with each other. It’s honestly quite strange and sad how little compassion and consideration we showed each other before. We’re planning our 10 year anniversary and I’m so excited. Three days, 2 nights in Vegas! Not gonna lie, with my gambling problem and Drew’s drinking problem, might be setting us up for a really awful few days…but I’m hoping we make good decisions, and we don’t say repeatedly, “I wish the boys were here,” because the whole thing is to have some us time. 

Speaking of the kids...they're all doing fantastic. They're 12, 10, and 6...6th grade, 4th grade, and kindergarten. Tim started middle school this year, which was a big deal. He tested into the highly capable program at his school. He and his best friend Caden have seemed to have gone their separate ways this year, which is such a bummer but I’m being more emotional about it than Tim, he’s all ‘whatever.’ Levi’s always excelling and is a friend to everyone. He and Vincent both brought home student of the month awards right off the bat this year. Vincent Vincent Vincent…that kid, I swear! We were petrified for him to start kindergarten, seeing as he grew up in an environment where he felt like he was always trying to catch up and fell short of his brothers capabilities…but he integrated seemlessly. His teacher even says he helps pick up after other kids… “Who?!? Our kid’s name is V I N C E N T…” but she insists he’s such a helper and is quiet and a diligent little worker who he swindles printer paper out of so he can draw. I want to hold onto these years forever…before real world issues creep in and try to sink our ship. I’ve seen it, it starts so little, then before you know it, you’re just begging them not to get arrested or take pictures of themselves with alcohol when they’re only 16. The real world scares me…I want to keep them in my bubble, I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job thus far…what’s 6-10 more years?